THINK ABOUT IT.

I am typing this from a bunker in Nevada. I don't have much time before they trace my IP address through the 56k modem line but THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

BIRDS ARE NOT REAL.

The government replaced all avian life forms in 1986 with sophisticated surveillance drones. Why do you think they sit on power lines? THEY ARE RECHARGING.

> SYSTEM_LOG: > DETECTING_INTERFERENCE... > IGNORE_ERROR

I tried to feed one "bread" yesterday. The bread is actually a data packet encryption key. The drone ate it and immediately looked at me with its dead, glass lens eyes. It transmitted my caloric intake directly to the Pentagon.

• FACT: Their "poop" is actually liquid tracking fluid designed to mark cars of dissidents.
• FACT: When they "migrate", they are actually going back to the factory for firmware updates.
• FACT: The "cooing" sound is dial-up interference.

Why is the government buying so much birdseed? SILICON IS NOT CHEAP.

My neighbor, "Steve", claims he owns a parrot. I tried to dismantle "Steve's" parrot to find the microphone and now "Steve" is suing me. WAKE UP STEVE. The parrot repeats what you say because it is RECORDING YOUR CONFESSIONS.

Don't trust the squirrels either. They are the ground units.